Self communion (Back again)

Hallo, it has been quite a long time for me to write something in this webpage. I wonder how all of you doing? Miss all the kl friends..Hope u guys have the wonderful holidays with family and friends. Apparently I had been enjoyed and suffered from my holidays. Well, the parts I’m enjoying so much were the time I hanging around with intimate friends, traveling within this beautiful country, and best part of it is no more fxxking annoying alarm ring tone waking me up in the early morning, which means I have unrestrained privilege at home and can just sleep like a dead man in the sweet and cozy air conditioned bedroom. About the terrible parts of it I don’t wish to have further elaboration- gone deeply into “debt”, realize that my hometown really is a boring place to live at (no much entertainment provided), need to help my family business ever during holidays, and undoubtedly again here comes my mother nagging for all the big or small matters everyday. Even though I had almost completed all my holiday schedules, I still find there is a missing part. Hmm…is my holiday going to end meaninglessly in this way?

As it is too free to do anything in my hometown, I start to spend some times in reading and meditation. Some questions surfaced as I tucked in my bed. What my future’s going to be? Am I choosing the right path? What really is the God’s will? Questions plague me and some of my friends. I can’t figure out what is correct and definite answer. No signs or sound from God answering my prayers yet. However I believe faithfulness is the only attitude that I need to cling to. I remembered one article written that disappointments and hopeless feeling can be holy moments when we are stepping outside our own reality and embrace God’s. Somehow, he entices us to broader horizon, the fuller hope and calls us to hope in more that we see now, and to believe. It’s all a matter of time.

Now when I’m standing at my balcony and looking at the sunset, I feel extremely relieve with less grumbling, complaining but more heart of thanksgiving. After all, I’m blessed. ^_^ (time for dinner)