不是我不明白

说真的，我并不是你们所想象的强者。。 更不是那些能够在一个星期内hit President Club ($4000 to $5000) 的rookie。。你们每晚通过电话给于我的问候，不时让我活在极大压力和紧迫情绪当中~ Every Sunday, there is always mix feeling  while i had drive to lumberton for company meeting... well, first of all, i am extremely excited to meet all the friends and talked about the wildest experience we ever had in our life..however, when it came to sale ranking, my excitement is abating...I felt ashamed, depressed and frustrated when i can't meet the expectation of you guys.. HOWEVER, wat i can guarantee you..i did try my best to set up and close "Mrs Jones" ~ Yet it isn't EASY...i gave up all ..sometimes external factors like shitty US economic, massive unemployment, education level and nature deviant attitude of those people, had been huge obstacles for me to reckon with.. especially the White folks (Number one enemy~ super hard to approach..they are too skeptical). Sometimes i only earn $100 profit each day...can hardly even achieve $500 to $1000 sale per day.. i really Try my best...now i can only put my hope and faith on God to lead me to the glamorous and strong endings..=)  This internship had cut down my connection to outer world~ Miss most of my friends and family...Sarawak gangs, Kl gangs, Church gangs, Piggies, Ladies Gangs, Foreign country gangs, Iowa Gangs, Bookman Gangs!!!! HOW ARE YOU DOING?！！！