Missing Days Of HapPiness

回想，这几年（至今），我常因为个人意见，主见不同有差异，让他人以及我在那一瞬间显得情绪化，气氛变得有点僵。It is not because i am being stubborn, self centered, immature or whatever terms one can describe their "friendly"opponent. You notice i stated "friendly opponent" as we did not really offend or quarrel with others meanly. Yet to convince or persuade others that our personal points of view which we believe they are correct.

(TO someone out there)..Maybe you think i am not being good learner to listen what you're trying to say or follow your rules of life. But let me tell you ..YUP...YOU!!!..something~ i know the meaning of life better than you~ Even though you are older or younger...it does not make any different as regardless who you are...you're just living in a small box of world..can hardly observe or sensitive to the greater value of life.  In short, i just wanna to point out that each of us are varied in own perspectives, belief and life value so RESPECT others..instead of forcing them to suit your shoes or get mad at them when they tend to against or deny your words... Guess what, no matter how many times you complain of your pessimism and hoping us to follow your will. I AINT GONNA DO THAT TO DEPRECIATE MY WAY OF LIVING A LIFE!! Cause i felt happier to act according to my own  perspectives~ even it means you are more experience and older. But who care... i am who i am... don't try to judge, teach me with your personal value... i only feel the joy and peace when i did what my heart urged or guide me..which i believe there is a MIGHTY, mercy God living in me...你不同意我的观点，我已经习以为常了~这个习惯 却令我活得更快乐，有意义。。。

春假开始了~因为internship training，assignment 及其他私人因素，假期这段期间也没有多余游玩。。可悲可悲~ 近来虽然学业都还不错，但生活却显得毫无规律，乱七八糟。。
而且许多事情都很不顺利~ 叹息着。。。 真的超MALANG的！！！！ 个人生活变得太乏味，没有些乐趣。。再一次。。可悲可悲可悲呀~
list of things did not go well recently:
1. My accomodation
2. My guitar
3. My brain (not working hard enough..being lazy)
4. My relationship
5. My shoe
6. My car purchase
7. My plan trip, My yamcha, My dating
8. My  stupidenglish narrative writing assignment

（PS：in fact, it is not that bad ...just not as fun as i used to have.. and my spiritual life is dying...seriously lost and struggle to find back my passion and faith---> participate in real church ministries...i want to be filled with joy and love of God forever more.)
On this age of 20, I just cannot stop thinking about my potential achievement, my goals, my social networking, my girlfriend, my future life partner, my religious life and.... what if i really step onto the wrong pathway... is there any chance God will lose faith on someone whose love passion to Thy had abated...every day and night.. i try to gain insight picture of my future...IT IS LIKE EMPTY BOTTLE.. I SEE NOTHING~ ... I start to feel anxious,insecure, and worry... Where is my huge confidence and perspective that i used to hold tightly onto??


God, i pray that you guide and bless me and those who seek for you and in desperate need..for it is you who make us; and we are yours, we are Thy chosen people, the sheep of your pasture. May your kingdom come~ i pray all this in Jesus Name, Amen.